Hello, all you happy people!
Wait…are you happy? Cause I sure am. I want to shout it to the world: ” I am HAPPY!!” And no, before you get ahead of yourselves, I am not in love. Or maybe I am a little bit. 🙂 With myself before anythig else 😛
I feel like I’m starting to be myself again, my true self. I used to love the person that I was, but somehow I managed to lose myself on the way. It wasn’t something deliberate, but at one point I started giving up bits and pieces of what made me…well, me! And while there was someone there to somehow compensate those losses (event though those compensations could never truly replace what was lost), I thought I was ok. But I realize I wasn’t. Too many compromises were made, too many of my little personal pleasures that I renounced, too many impulses that were kept in check.
So now I’m happy. I can spend a lot of time with my friends, I can watch all the stupid chick flicks and TV shows, I can listen to my soft, mushy music and then blast on a really angry song, just because I feel like it. I can read, lots and lots of books. I can dress kinda funky if I want to and not have to hear something like “Are you really gonna wear that?”… from someone whose biggest fashion risk is a purple T-shirt that I had to spend 15 minutes convincing it looked great on him. I can go out in a club without having to drag my better half along because he doesn’t like clubs or without having to leave him at home sulking and being bored. I can go away over the weekend on an impulse. I can flirt away and enjoy the attention.
And now we get to a sensitive point. Flirting. Isn’t it fun? ;)) Especially now in the summer it seems like a whole different business. Boys look so much better in the summer, don’t they? 😀 I was talking to a friend of mine this weekend and I told him that I feel happy. He asked me why and I gave him the story – for no particular reason and for all the reasons in the world. His reply was that there clearly was a reason – I was getting all this attention from guys. And at that moment I said “no, dude, it’s not that”. Well, after thinking about it for a while…he might be onto something there. But he’s not completely right. I do love all the attention (hey, who wouldn’t really?), but there’s a catch. What makes me happy is not the attention in itself, it’s the fact that I could open myself up to accepting and relishing the attention. After a whole lot of time, I am finally able to truly enjoy myself and enjoy life.
Who else is happy today and what makes you happy?