Have I mentioned before how much I loooove summer? I bet I did, but just in case I didn’t make it clear enought…I LUV summer! 😀 And one of the main reasons for that (besides the cool summery clothes, fun summery make-up and simply how much lovelier boys seem to look in the summer, of course ;)) ) is that for me, summer is a time to evaluate and draw conclusions. You know how most people spend the end of the year thinking about what went wrong and what was all good during the year that passed? Well, for the last few years, I’ve been doing that at some point during the summer. It might be the drowsy heat that makes you linger on certain feelings or thoughts. The point is that I feel I’ve reached the moment when conclusions need to be drawn and clearly stated.
But in order to understand some of the things that I’ve decided should to be put down on “digital paper”, I need to start from the beginning. And the beginning is sometime last winter, when I still believed in love and fairy tales and my prince in shining whatever. It was sometime around Christmas and I was going home for the holidays and while on the train, my head was filled with pink, fluffy clouds and dancing freakin’ unicorns. So, I sent a text message to that special person in my life back then, talking about how I saw the year ahead…a wonderful year, with places to see and people to meet, with incredible things to be done…together. Dreams…But then, life happened and the dreams made for two had to be turned into dreams for just one.
And that one person eventually started turning those dreams into reality, meeting lots of amazing people, beautiful people, people who had stories to tell, people she had something to learn from, going places she had wanted to go for a long while and just doing things she felt like doing without looking back or overanalyzing that much anymore. And it was aaaaaall good!
1. Lately, I’ve been acting like a totally new person, taking risks and simply being brave. And even though I was surprised by this new person I’m becoming, I think I like her quite a bit and I would like her to stay for a while at least. Who knows, maybe she’s here to stay for good.
2. The old me is still present in attitudes that are slowly resurfacing, but sort of toned down though (me? sarcastic?!? nooooo… 😛 ). I’m gradually rediscovering sides of me that I thought I had lost forever (and that loss made me heartbroken for myself, for my soul on the long run). I’m writing again, even if only on this blog for now. But still, it’s better than nothing. I’m writing agaaaaain!!!
3. I may have done some dumb things, I may have taken some wrong turns on my way to the present day, I may have screwed up a couple of times (or more, but who’s counting, right?), I may have bruised myself and other people…and I’m not saying I’m not sorry for some things and some outcomes, but at least I have something to regret. It’s better than regretting not having done this thing or not having said that thing.
The conclusions seem pretty sunny so far. I do believe I’m on my way to becoming an improved version of myself. At least, I hope I am.