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For Christmas this year I wish for one present, a bit like a super-power: I wish I were able to make somebody else feel exactly what I do. Imagine it kind of like a feeling transfusion, whenever words are simply not enough to render the rustlings in your soul. I’d infuse it with a dash of cinnamon, for savour, and just a hint of honey, for sweetness. Perfection!

It’s sad when a relationship ends because it just doesn’t work. It’s heart-wrenching when it ends because it’s become collateral damage. And again it seems like all that’s left are half-uttered declarations, half-lived dreams, half-dared leaps of faith and fully-missed opportunities.

We lie every single time we speak about feelings, since feelings can never be fully and precisely expressed. That’s why I wish for this Christmas present, to stop being a liar, even to myself. I wish I could express what’s fussing around in my heart perfectly and that you would understand it fully.

Santa, are you reading this?

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