There’s an epidemic ravaging this city, this world. Well, the “civilized” world, at least. People are walking, no, better yet make that running away from commitment. It is beyond me why so many of us renounce fully and stubbornly the idea of sharing our existences with somebody else. It’s frightening how we’ve reached a point where there’s no trust – in the ones next to us to be able to stick around long enough to see we’re worth loving and caring for – and no confidence – in ourselves to have the strength to fight through the less joyful moments and even through the painfully difficult ones.
I’ve become more independent than I would have even thought I would be able to. I believe that I can live a happy, full life on my own if it comes to that. My happiness are my dear friends, my always supportive family (who pick me up every time I hit the ground, even though they were the ones who had warned me I was about to trip), my career accomplishments, my writing. But I’m not going to lie (to myself and to the world), I also believe that a truly fulfilled life is one you can share with someone you give your heart to and who offers his/her heart to you in return.
My life is so much less than simple. But I’m thrilled of what I’ve made of it so far and proud of how much I’ve grown in the short span of a couple of years. I’m always on the run, I’m trying to be more than I am with each passing second, I’m doing my best to give back a fraction of all the good things that destiny has handed to me. My time is limited and precious. But if it comes down to it, I make time for the ones who make time for me. I don’t use my career, my being busy, my being tired, my being a happily independent girl as hallow excuses for not committing to someone I love.
I used to be that person, afraid of forever, crushing any potential serious relationship in the bud before the other person could even attempt to know me and to love me. Ironically, it’s heartache that’s made me realize that someone to have beside you through thick and thin, someone you can just glance at and know their love is only for you and be reminded that your love is only for them, is as desirable as water on a torrid summer’s day.