Let’s start off with a negation. We can then move on to affirmations. You see, I’m not afraid of negations, because sometimes it’s just unspeakably easier to draw a line around what you aren’t, what you can’t, what you don’t, what you won’t.
I’m not a she-wolf.
I can be hurtful, though; I acknowledge this just like we should all acknowledge our flaws in order to be able to better ourselves from that point on. But I’ve made it my goal for a very long while now not to allow myself to succumb to such instincts.
I’m not a prude; in fact, it may be one of the last things I could be accused of.
Fact: I have been accused of this. Also fact: I have principles and feelings, but that does not equal to being a prude; it may equal to being hurt and cautious, at best, if you’d want to call me out on something.
Still, after all the negations, at 26, I’m fairly convinced that I can spell out with confidence what I am and what I want – from my life and from the people I will share my existence with, from the person I will share my seconds and my years with. Now, knowing does not translate either into doing what’s best for oneself, or into making the wisest decisions.
I do wish I could make that wise decision for once in my life. And isn’t it excruciating to do so while the heart wryly whispers? It talks softly of potentialities, it hums stories of love found (and kept forever) and it turns dreams into eyes-wide-open reveries. Let’s see how you’ll say no to it!