When you reminisce, what do you think about? Thinking back, what are your regrets? I know, we all like to say we don’t have any regrets; we all want not to have any. We say we don’t, but we do. Mine are mostly tied to having missed the chance to do something or not having acted a certain way. Regrets are inherent; in an ideal world, these would not exist, but in this one we all feel sorry about at least one thing, we all make mistakes.
I’ve realised, however, that I’ve recently stopped turning to my past. It’s not that it’s not a comforting thing to do during harsh moments, it’s just that my present is way too demanding of my full focus and involvement and all my potential futures are much too enticing and promise too much not to award them my unhindered attention.
Continuing to look forward is not easy when hitting bumps in the road, the lure of the past is so irresistible during those times. But you have to face one undeniable truth – however badly you’d like to make yourself believe that past moments are your golden age, if you’d only analyse them objectively, you’d see they’re never as pinkish and as glittery as they appear to be during a temporarily bleak present. It’s just easier to fall back on a relatively safe and a fixed past rather than be confronted with an uncertain future and an ever shifting present.
I say I’m tired of waves, but that’s just because I like being a bit of a whiny kid once in a while. In all honesty, I love the waves crashing on the white sandy shore and how they shape it every passing moment. Clean slates and new beginnings, but on my own terms.