Wondering which type of addiction is the most powerful, the hardest to shake – the mental one or the physical one? Going cold turkey seems like the most logical approach to recovery; that is, until you find yourself faced with the object (or subject) of your addiction. What then? Can you resist the allure and say no to just one more fix?
It’s three years since I started this blog. Looking at where I am now and where I used to be emotionally back then, it feels like my days are unfolding as a constant déjà vu. While there’ve been countless changes in my life, large and small, apparent and not that obvious, I somehow find myself staying put in almost the exact same place as three years ago; like no lessons had been learnt, like no conclusions had been drawn.
I forgive. I compromise. I give tenth chances. I get nowhere for it, except for getting myself stuck in the past, in the same patterns. And when there’s no growth, no evolution, it can only lead to frustration. But despite all these rational realisations, when faced with a decision, I’ll always let my heart choose, my oh-so-addiction-prone heart.