I put my foot in my mouth like it’s a contest to be won. I excel at self-sabotage; and why wouldn’t I, since it’s my superpower? Some can make traffic lights turn from red to green, some can turn girls into fatties, just by staring at them long enough (hey, I never said they were cool superpowers!). I have a knack for finding flaws even where there aren’t any.
It’s surprisingly difficult getting back to that place; you know, the one where you realise everything’s good again (at last!). And it’s absurdly hard to actually accept the good as it’s given to you and relish in it as reality, and not just as a daydream that’s going to end as soon as you blink.
But it’s happening, and it’s happening now, not tomorrow, not in a week, not in six months. So the past must be left to rest. It’s there, nested in a deep part of your heart and mind; it can never be erased, however much you struggle to, however much you’ve wished to in your most painful, sleepless moments, but it can’t be allowed to replace the now.
Daring to breathe easily, to sleep without worrisome thoughts populating your dreams, to wake up smiling. Daring to dare again.