It’s the perfect autumn. There’s a special kind of foggy, milky light in the mornings and the afternoons which makes everything softer. There’s the distinct smell of fallen leaves on the wet pavement. And I’m particularly accepting and even welcoming of the colder seasons this year, revelling in the layers I’m wrapping myself into like a cocoon.
It’s a milestone I’m anticipating, I’m sure. I’ll be seeing different aspects of my life either come out of that cocoon transformed, more beautiful and more awe-inspiring than one could have imagined, or (the thing I dread the most and would prefer to not think of), they will whither in the frozen air of winter.
One thing I’m acknowledging is that I’ve been losing myself (again); and when has that ever been a good thing for anybody really? But maybe that’s normal in a sense, given the changes I’ve been going trough and the adjustments I’ve had to make. The one thing I wish for everybody during these cool days and especially during these cold nights, is that we realise we are social beings (even in these disconnected times), who need each other more than we often care to admit. Love is a two-way street, Kimbra sings so graciously; but moving past the romanticised, albeit very moving, scenario she describes in her lyrics, I’d say any relationship is a two way street.
Wouldn’t it be a perfect world if we could all be immensely selfless and not expect anything from the ones around us, especially from the ones closest? Bad news, this world is not perfect and neither is any of us. We’re selfish, needy creatures from the moment we take our first breath and that doesn’t change throughout our lives (except if you’re a saint in the making). All we can do is our best and try to overcome that instinct to always place ourselves first, to see our own problems as more serious and more urgent than those of so many others around.
I know from own experience how easy it is to throw a pity party for yourself and never want to leave it. Gathering up the courage and the confidence to face…well…life itself with whatever it throws my way was one of the most excruciating things I’ve had to do. Not just once. It’s something I managed to accomplish by reminding myself that what we usually see in others only scratches the surface – and I’m not just referring to strangers we have to deal with when paying taxes or buying something at the supermarket, I’m also including here people who we have an actual relationship with – friends, siblings, parents, lovers.
No, we don’t live in a perfect universe, but maybe being kind and understanding, just being willing to be there one for the other would make our lives easier to navigate.