There’s a flurry like I haven’t seen in much too long in this beloved city of mine. Winter just hasn’t been the same in years now. The kid inside me is painfully aware that those puffy, snow-laden clouds in the distance – yes, the ones that have been hovering patiently in the distance, waiting for a sign it’s safe to bring the city joyful white flakes just in time for Christmas – will be blown away and I’ll be left longing. Yet I keep telling myself I will have a white Christmas this year; I won’t accept any different.
Human beings are spectacular liars. We have the ability to tell ourselves incredibly intricate lies just to make ourselves feel better about our actions, our feelings, our lives. Just so that we can make it another hour, another day, another week or another year. Even that age-old line “Everything will be OK in the end.” is just a comforting lie so that we can muster up the strength to push through.
And then there are the grandiose charades, that you might see pop up on Facebook and Instagram and seem to constantly invade your news-feed (long live social media!). The ones that are so masterfully orchestrated to portray a life of perfect material and emotional bliss. The ones that scream that if only they believe the glitter and filters are real, the person posting it will believe it too. But this isn’t fake it till you make it. Happiness is not a perpetual state, it’s something that you grasp rarely and that doesn’t need to be proven in order to be real. And no, you cannot please everybody constantly without forgetting how to be yourself and without neglecting your own needs. It’s perfectly fine to cut yourself a break and accept that sometimes you may feel sad, or melancholy or just selfishly want to take care of yourself for a brief moment and not have anybody else’s needs and problems invade your personal space. No justification needed.
And no, if anybody’s wondering, there’s nothing wrong. I promise. It’s just that I’ve been so lazy with my writing lately that I decided to just start typing and let the words fill the blank space.