It’s time to stick your nose in a book, light a candle, put on some Hozier and pretend that life can be fair and just for once, that things can turn out the way they should. Just once! Some moments, it’s harder to keep up one’s hope than pushing a huge rock up the hill – even for an eternal idealist like me.
I fight against my words, because they come out all wrong, all too raw and all too sharp. Or they just don’t want to come out at all, as if they despised being uttered, as if they wanted me to convince and woo them to agree to be spoken. So here I am, sitting in awkward silence all by myself, wishing I could scream curses at my utterly crappy karma for making me pay dues I didn’t even know I owed.
I sit in deafening silence, all by myself, wishing I could read thoughts (however painful or messed up they might be) and then come up with the perfect answer, the perfectly comforting and supportive words. But I’ve failed at evolution and cannot read thoughts just yet. So I fail some more and make mistakes with my damned words; or lack thereof.