The thoughts in our heads are much worse than reality. But then again, when you haven’t the slightest of how reality looks like, it’s just as easy to turn the small into the gargantuan, annoying mosquitoes into fire-breathing dragons the size of a mountain. So I take my crippled words and try to recreate as many of these possible versions of reality. Even though some make me flinch, clench my fists, or just want to hide under the covers, under layers made up of books and TV shows and manic translations meant to exhaust me and push me to a point where I cannot think anymore or imagine any more of those wretched scenarios.
The easiest thing in the world can be to just stay quiet, simply not say a thing. Because if the silence is total, then maybe all other things will stay frozen, not moving in any direction, good or bad. But silence is not a solution, it’s just quiet torture.