Been writing a lot lately. More than I’ve probably written in the entire year that’s passed. Poor 2014 was dry and it missed its opportunity to be grand and majestic, the year I finally write that brilliant piece, that novel that’s been haunting me for almost a decade now. From the looks of it, 2015 promises to be entirely different.
But I realise that no matter how much I do put down on paper, be it happy or sad, elated or tormented, it’s only empty words worth nothing if I keep censuring myself. It’s imperative that I’m honest with myself and equally important that I don’t suppress the intensity of what I’m communicating. No, I won’t always be seeing the world through heart-shaped glasses. And sometimes I might even scare you with how deep the random precipices in my soul run. If I try to moderate everything, though, I’ll end up offering an unimpressive, tepid piece of myself. And isn’t that everybody’s biggest fear – that we’ll die and be forgotten in our lack of shine?
So, my new mantra is “Offer yourself entirely, good or bad, giddy or gloomy”. The people who matter and really understand who I am will appreciate it. Whether my happiness is making me fly to the moon, or my outlook is as bleak as can be, neither situation deserves to be hidden or tempered down. Perhaps it’s just my volcanic, raw phase. Perhaps it’s not a phase at all. Either way, I’ll gladly ride it through.