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Overcast sky and low hanging clouds in the evenings, thick fog early in the morning. What else can one do at a time like this than ponder one’s plan for taking over the world? Well, maybe not quite that ambitious, but I’ll settle for changing the world, one second at a time, one gentle look at a time, one supportive word at a time, one kiss at a time. This is the perfect time to reflect, to cocoon and fall back into oneself. There’s no better time, really, to just think; or better yet, to purposefully attempt to understand. Understand what, you ask? Why, oneself, naturally!

By Daria Nepriakhina, via unsplash.com

By Daria Nepriakhina, via unsplash.com

Autumn is nature’s way of signalling to us restless humans (more and more so as the years pass) that it’s time to wind down, to rest our bones. It’s natural, it’s a cycle we tend to ignore in our constant rush to get from point A to point B, from home to the office, from the office to the gym, from the gym to a bar, from the bar to a club. All these restless, silly people, always running! But I wonder how many of them are actually running towards something better, instead of away from something that tears them down, towards the warm arms of someone dear, instead of away from the suffering caused by someone who doesn’t care anymore.

I’ll be honest, I was afraid of writing this post, because it’s coming from such a vulnerable and emotional place. And isn’t this one of the biggest monsters hiding under our beds at night, after all? The fear of being exposed? Once I started writing, however, my hands quickly got used to dancing on the keyboard and demanded their own freedom of speech. My head, a whirlwind of thoughts. Redefining myself, finding my new self is an energy taxing process, but a necessary and immensely satisfying one. So I’m embracing it, however scary it may be. Surrendering to an avalanche of initially seemingly random thoughts is quite a leap of faith, even when taken on oneself.

What to do with all the seemingly random emotions, though?

Have you heard of the Wachowski Brothers? No? Well, then have you seen The Matrix? Then you’ve heard of them. They’re also the masterminds behind Netflix’s new series, Sense8, and they’re revolutionising the way we view reality. Prepare for a mind-bending experience to say the least. I watched the entire first season with a primal sort of thirst. At first, I was confused as to where the very different (and sometimes incompatible) stories would lead to. But a couple of episodes in, I was hopelessly hooked. And although the action scenes were utter perfection (in traditional Wachowski style), it was the raw emotion that hit me like a pile of bricks. Each episode was a build up for the next one. As tension mounted, the final couple chapters of the first season were like an emotional volcano exploding and spewing the good, the bad, the heartbreaking and the heart-warming all over my laptop screen and my soul.

The music elevated every scene to new heights: I wanted to start singing along with the 4 Non Blondes’ tune like I was part of the script; and if the Beethoven concert scene doesn’t bring you to tears, I don’t know what will.

Swimming through the changing currents of emotions and not allowing myself to get pulled under, while still surrendering to where the currents lead – I sometimes wonder if I’m up for the challenge, if I posses enough energy not to drown after the first 5 minutes. I constantly remind myself to breathe. Just keep breathing.