I’m not the same person I was a year ago.
Really, did you know that cells in the body get renewed quite often – some of them even once every few days? (for the geeky ones among you, see here a chart for more specific details on turnover times) So none of us are literally the same people we used to be a year ago. In my case, that means – among other things – a few extra pounds, a new job and, perhaps the biggest step of all so far, the down payment on my very own apartment. I’m going to be a home owner, you guys! How exciting is that?
Thank goodness for nature knowing better than our very evolved brains that change is a vital process for growth, and for survival if we’re to draw a bottom line.
Life looks different at 30. And not in the antiquated and sexist sense that a woman’s life is pretty much over and done with once she hits this age. I’d like to hope that society is at least trying to move past that point, difficult as it may be to let go of centuries old deeply rooted mentalities. I read a recent interview with author Autumn Whitefield-Madrano on the topic of beauty and feminism co-existing in which she declares it might take another few centuries until we’ve untangled sexism. A bit disconcerting.
I digress. Undeniably, May 28th of this year marked the beginning of a new cycle for me, one that would – at least in theory – bring the clarity and the calm after the storm that I’ve been seeking.
More than anything, 30 feels like a rite of passage, moving from uncertainties to being aware of oneself, one’s desires and needs. While the direction of some paths I’m following at the moment might still look foggy and subject to reconfiguration as I go, at the very least they were active, fairly well informed and purposeful choices. If nothing else, this makes me proud of myself and where I am at this point in my existence. Sure, there are still aspects that need to be ironed out, but ultimately that’s life – there’s always something that could be going better or that needs to be fixed. Looking at anything that happens as part of a progression or a smaller part of a bigger process you might not be aware of in the moment is the way to go and to keep you going.
Rites of passage also bring in the foreground the past as a springboard for the future, so I’m keeping mine close. However deep you’s like to bury it, destiny has an uncanny way of making things and people resurface right when you least expect it. As long as you fully know that you aren’t the same person you used to be, there’s no reason to dread the past or run away from it, since it will catch up with you at one point anyway. Rather try to learn from it (better late than never, right?) and allow it to positively shape who you are constantly becoming. Bitterness is poison and a sad waste of precious moments you have to live your life.
I’m living my summer instead of thinking of the cold that stretched for too long this year. The 30th summer and I’m not going to accept anything less than an amazing one.