Tags
being authentic, being brave, being open, courage, fears, hard to admit, looking, play pretend, priorities, searching, self awareness, self-censorship, the subtle art of not giving a fuck
I hate how we pretend to be confident and so put together when we’re not. I hate how we pretend to be lacking of any fears, indifferent and untouchable, when we’re really not. I hate how we pretend to not need, when we certainly do.
Did you notice how most of us are looking, but few are actually searching? It’s the looking that blinds us, while the search would free us if we were brave enough to take on that climb up the mountain.
A list of things hard to admit:
- that you’re not perfect (far from it);
- that you have days when you really don’t like yourself;
- that you felt left out when you weren’t asked to join the party;
- that you’ve closed yourself off because not feeling seems better than feeling pain;
- that you stay quiet because you’re afraid of sounding silly;
- that you’re so tired of trying and never quite making it to that sweet spot;
- that you’re really not a pretty sight in the morning/late in the evenings;
- that yes, you really don’t give a fuck anymore.
A list of things harder to admit:
- that you’re not perfect, but want to be loved as if you were;
- that you might not like yourself in the moment, but still wish someone else did;
- that you didn’t feel like going to the party, but still wished you’d have been invited;
- that no pain is still not better than joy;
- that your fear of ridicule is actually fear of being rejected;
- that you’re tired of trying, but once the coffee kicks in, your will to try just one more time is alive and kicking (if only someone met you in the middle for once!);
- that some things and some people are worth giving up that extra 30 minutes of sleep (just don’t forget the extra shot of coffee) / that extra episode from your latest TV show obsession;
- that you’ve stopped giving a fuck about meaningless things, but are reserving your fucks for the ones that matter.